Duncan, OK Birth | Baby M

To start this story we have to go back. Way back, to 2010. My husband and I were young, married, kidless and working with the students at Lakeside Baptist Church. We were absolutely obsessed with every single one of them. In that youth group were two brothers, Matthew and Mikel. There they are, front and center in this slightly blurry cell phone picture from a painting day. Matthew has the dark hair, and Mikel is the blonde.

Pick it up now in 2023, when I get a message from a sweet pregnant Momma-to-be named Mal. She told me she had read other Birth Stories I had done, and what I had to offer was exactly what she wanted. We planned an in person meeting for March. To prepare for that meeting, I visited her personal Facebook page and noticed she was married to a Mikel. Surely it wasn’t the kid that was in the Lakeside youth group?! Oh, but it was! I could tell just by the profile picture. He hadn’t changed a bit. I was so excited to meet Mal, and tell her I had known her husband so many years ago. When she showed up, she beat me to the punch. “My husband said he knows you and your husband from when he was younger!”

It was meant to be.

I’m always so honored and thrilled to tell a Birth Story for anyone. But having this personal connection with these two made me even more excited, not just to tell the Birth Story, but to give them any sort of advice and emotional support that I could.

Mal and I texted back and forth for the next few weeks, and then she let me know she would start the induction process on Monday, April 17th. The morning of, I sent her a message of what she could expect for the hospital check-in. Then she switched communication to Mikey (because sometimes we call him that). Before I went to bed that night I made sure he knew to call me if she went into full labor in the middle of the night. I was ready!

By 1:00pm the next day I was in the Birth Center, and was letting them catch me up on how their experience had been so far. Pretty steady contractions throughout the night, epidural done early that morning, and pitocin now on a steady drip. It wasn’t too much longer after I arrived that the nurse came in to try and switch her position. They could tell that Baby was turned just a little, still head down, but just at a slight rotation.

The rest of the day would be spent changing positions to see if Baby would shift, eating ice chips, and unfortunately watching Chopped and talking about food. Because the conversation inevitably turns to food when you haven’t eaten in almost 18 hours. Even on an empty belly, Mal was in good spirits and Mikey hopped up every time a nurse came in to get all the information he could about what was happening. He also gave plenty of back rubs and forehead kisses to Mal - while sneaking a twizzler or two every little bit.

At 5:05pm she was ready to push! That Baby would be here in no time! Right?

Then it was 5:30pm, then 6:00pm, then 6:30pm. Mal pushed with her hands holding onto her legs, with her hands on the little bars at her waist, and did even in a tug-o-war with the nurses, while the Tokyo Drift movie played in the background (merely because when you start pushing, sometimes you don’t think to turn the tv off or change the channel). This was turning out to be tougher than anticipated. There was a cool rag on Mal’s head, and she was dozing off in between contractions. It’s not easy to sleep when you come in the night before to start the induction. Pushing takes so much strength, and lack of sleep and lack of food make it even more challenging. Baby was also still turned just a little, so instead of coming out with his nose pointed to the ground, he was trying to come out with his nose pointed at Mom’s left hip. “Come on, Masen,” Mal said quietly a few times. Baby was coming, but oh so slowly.

By 7:00pm the epidural began wearing off, and Mal was truly exhausted. At this point, I had set my camera down, and was at her side as her doula, encouraging her, and reminding her that she could do it. Mikey kept up with the forehead kisses and lots of “you’re doing great, you’re doing great.” Mal looked up at me during this time and said, “How much longer?” and I told her I really didn’t know. She hadn’t given up yet, but I did wonder how much more she had in her.

The amazing thing is that even with two hours of pushing, Baby’s vitals remained steady, and stayed steady through the entire delivery, and Dr. Elrink said that she would let Mal keep pushing as long as she wanted and had the strength to do so.

Then about 7:30pm, her epidural had been dosed one more time, and had taken affect. Her eyes brightened back up, and she wasn’t crying from the pain any more. Dr. Eflink’s eyes lit up, too.

Elfirnk is a cheerleader kind of doctor, meaning when you are pushing under her care she’s saying, “Push, push, push! You can do it! Harder, come on you can do it!” But when Mal perked back up, so did Elfink’s cheers. I’ve never heard her rally a Momma with such fervor. Now they were both determined! “Come on, Mallorie, YOU CAN DO IT!! Push this baby out!” Elfirnk was evening trying to turn Baby so he would be in an easier position to push out. She would get him turned, and then he would rotate back.

About 8pm, Elfrink put on her full delivery PPE and stopped trying to turn him, because he had progressed down in the birth canal and she didn’t want to lose progress Mal had gained. Well, I had to see this for myself. So I left Mal’s side and stood back to get a better view of the baby himself. There he was! I could see his head (literally full of hair) when she would push! “Mallorie, he’s so close! You can do this! You can totally do this!” That got Mikey’s attention, and he leaned over to get a look, too. “He really is close! You’re doing great!” Hearing our responses gave her one last burst of stamina. Baby was close enough to be being born that I went back to my camera.

At 8:34pm, Dr. Elfrink got out the small suction device to help on the next contraction.

And at 8:36pm, after 3 hours of active pushing - Momma cried, Daddy beamed, and the whole room was ecstatic. She did it! Baby Masen was out of her belly and on her chest! He had dark hairs all over his body like the most adorable, tiny werewolf, and a squishy cone head - and the perfect baby cry of a little boy brand new to the world matched only by Mom’s cries of relief and joy.

The dopamine hit harder than I’ve ever seen it hit. Mom couldn’t take her eyes off her baby, and why should she? Dad was leaned in close, amazed. Elfrink finished up with her due diligence. The nurses were busy with clean up and charting and checking vitals. At one point, Dad stepped away to text the family the good news, so I went to his spot beside Mal to get a different view from some pictures. When I got closer I could hear her singing, “Hello, Mr. Masen, how are you? Hello, Mr. Masen, how are you?” (To the tune of, ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It’.)

Dr. Elfink traditionally stops to get one good look at the baby before she leaves the room. This time when she went to look at Masen, she smiled so big and told Mal, “I knew you could do it.”

At this point, I would typically stick around and wait for that hour of skin-to-skin to complete and then try to get a few more pictures of the baby going through all his post-birth procedures, but in this case, Mal was not going to be putting Masen down anytime soon. And that was totally and completely fine. I was so happy to see how holding her baby close, and seeing if he wanted to eat, was making all the pain and struggle of labor and delivery worth it.

What she needed was sustenance. So I scurried out and went on a food run to get a spicy chicken sandwich, burger with extra pickles, and a spicy coke. It hit the spot.

Seeing how truly exhausted she was (but so happy), I offered to come back the next day verses staying there longer that night. She loved that idea. The next afternoon, I went back to get just a handful more shots. When I walked in, Mikey was proudly sporting a hat that said ‘Dad’, and Mal was out of the bed with sleepy Mom eyes, but a full heart. Masen’s hairy conehead was a sight to see! Positively precious and a reminder of the work it took to get him earth side. Now that he was a bit cleaner, I could also see that he had a dimple - just like his Momma.

I laid out Masen’s baby blanket, and swaddled him up tight to settle him for his pictures. I held him close to soothe him and said, “Hello, Mr. Masen, how are you?”